November 26, 2020

Saturday Ramblings 12.3.10

December? December already? Why didn’t someone warn me? I need to get started on my Christmas shopping. Chaplain Mike wants an Ernie Banks bobblehead. Adam Palmer wants a Tom Brady bobblehead. Mike Bell wants a Gordie Howe bobblehead. Joe Spann wants a good night’s sleep. Damaris and Lisa want someone else to do the dishes on Christmas day. I think I will get them each a huge helping of Saturday Ramblings.

Do you know what is the best thing about buying egg nog ice cream at the store? No one else will eat it. I don’t even have to hide it behind the bags of frozen peas. Just sayin’…

Now, on to the Ramblings.

So you’ve already gone through the Creation Museum in Kentucky and don’t know what to do next. Well, Ken Ham and his team are planning to build a full-scale replica of Noah’s Ark. Hopefully you will be able sail down the Ohio River aboard the boat. And if they are looking to borrow some animals, the world-class Cincinnati Zoo is just across the river. And after you have explored all 600 cubits of the Ark, you can take short drive up I-75 to see the Big Butter Jesus statue rising up out of the water.

And then you can travel to Iowa to see a nativity scene carved out of butter. Let me say that again. A nativity scene carved out of butter. Really. I can’t make this stuff up. And isn’t that the great commission? To go and make statues of Jesus out of butter?

Dueling billboards. That’s what we’ve come to. Dueling billboards at the Lincoln Tunnel. As you leave New Jersey you are greeted with a message from American Atheists that reads, “You know it’s a myth. This season, celebrate reason.” The Catholic League has responded with a billboard as you leave New York that reads, “You know it’s real. This season celebrate Jesus.”

Does God get Tweets? And just what does he have against the Buffalo Bills? Is God partial to wide receivers or safeties? If players on both teams pray for God to help them win, how does God choose which team he is going give all the breaks? Oh, and how ’bout them Buckeyes?

Apple withdrew an app from their store that some claimed to be anti-gay. Christians are petitioning to have the app, called the Manhattan Declaration, restored. If this app isn’t enough for you, check out this list of religious apps for your use.

You should read Paul Greenberg every chance you get. Start with this column, What Is Hanukkah?

Have you checked out Good News Daily yet? Our own Lisa Dye is the editorial director. If you need a bit of a break from all of the bad news we have each day, visit Good News Daily. And if you have a bit of good news to share, send it to

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Happy birthday this week to Jimi Hendrix; Bill Nye (The Science Guy); Berry Gordy Jr. (founder of Motown Records); Randy Newman; Ed Harris; Jon Stewart; Madeleine L’Engle; Howie Mandel;  Monica Seles; and Britney Spears.

Well, Clark, got your lights up yet? Think your display is pretty good, do you? Take a look at this nice, calming, Christmas decoration. Wouldn’t you like to be this person’s neighbor?


  1. So is the creation museum finally admitting that their stories are no more real than those at Disneyland? That it is all just an amusement…

  2. No matter how many times I hear it, I never get tired of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s rendition of Carol of the Bells…

  3. Paul Greenberg is good. I’m privileged to be able to read him all the time, as he is the editorial page editor for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette here in Little Rock.

  4. Not only is Answers in Genesis making an ark that only seems to be a gimmick, they’re tracking your browser history if you visit their site:

    Incidentally, I noticed the story about the list of religious apps goes to a story about men who can’t grow up — was that a joke? Sorry, I’m a little slow on the uptake tonight….

    • No–that was the result of your editor putting together the Ramblings while watching football and not paying attention. Thanks for the catch!

  5. I enjoyed reading that Greenberg article.

    And hey, that butter scupture looks quite nice! Easier to sculpt butter than to carve ice or wood. She must get a bit chilly working at 40 something degrees.

    We got our Christmas tree yesterday and I am about to decorate it.

  6. Aargh! That house! What a breaker-flipping, neighbor-igniting, migraine inducing . . . celebration of the birth of Jesus. Designed no doubt by someone who bills himself as the “Home Decorator of Light (TM).”

    For a slight change of pace, I recommend looking up “Andjeli Pevaju” on Youtube.

    And the New Yorker magazine had the last word on the Lincoln Tunnel. There was a cartoon of a man driving a car, seen through the windshield, with a look of utter horror on his face. The caption was “When the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.”

  7. Damaris and Lisa want someone else to do the dishes on Christmas day. TGI Fidays is open on Christmas Day 4 to 12. If God was for the Buffalo Bill he would have taken the points since Buffalo was a home underdog.

  8. I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas. Christmas Vacation

  9. The other Graham says

    Marvelous piece on Hannukah by Mr. Greenburg. But good grief, the vitriol in the comments! I think if people such as Chesterton, who could be barbed-tongued in speech but still be civil about it. Ironic that that such a lack of civility
    pours forth in this season in particular.

    • The other Graham says

      That’s “of people such as Chesterton”, not “if”. My IPhone doesn’t proofread well, and those tiny letters can be hard to see.

  10. With the price of butter up so much right now, and adding to the cost of my Christmas cookies, I’m not inclined to appreciate its use in sculpture.

  11. From the Greenberg piece:
    “The message of Hanukkah changes from age to age because the past we choose to remember is the truest reflection of any present. When Hanukkah is celebrated with pride, a fall is sure to come. When it inspires humility, hope is kindled.”

    Equally true for all celebrations.

  12. Sarah,
    They recycle the butter! (once they are done with the current sculpture, they freeze the butter and
    sculpt again with it later!)
    So, it might be icky for cookies!

  13. When the “Manhattan Declaration” was first. . . uh. . . released, my husband kept referring to it as the “Manhatttan Project” during a Bible study he was leading, which I found to be a delicious, not to mention hilarious, slip of the tongue.

    • yes. someone on a forum I frequent made the same slipup and everyone got a good chuckle out of it. It was like good grief I’m really hoping group x isn’t an atomic power!

      And I have had a fabulous Hanukkah. I have already eaten so many latkes that I think I’ll have to just wear sweatpants for the rest of December. Not to mention beer (Ironically, Belgian Abbey style), liqueurs (Frangelico goes well with latkes), chocolates, and brisket. We started it this year at our place and have gone to another’s place each of the nights since.

      And of course, my partner (though a devotee of Hitchens and Dawkins) celebrates Christmas, and then there is New Years… I hope my waistline and blood sugar survive!

  14. Maybe on Noah’s ark…they can build it, load it with animals, provision it according to the Bible, and then float it on the Ohio River for 6 months or a year (however long it took according to the Bible…) and live according to God’s providence. Then when the rapture happens they will be more prepared!!! 😛

    Can I propose a Rapture based them park? What could be some of the rides be officially? Hhmmmmmmmmm….. How about the Millenium Rollarcoaster where you get to ride around on a white horse? Or the the pre-tribulation free fall…where (like Great America) pre-trib evangelicals can expereince the rapture in reverse to get a taste of flying through air!!!! (I sincerely hope that no believers get caught up in engine jets at airports like birds when the rapture does happen!! 🙂

    Seriously….though…I find the proposal to be incredible and am waiitng for the defenders to “get” the word out and for the chruch to “defend this” evangelisitc effort (rolls eyes…)

    I’m still trying to figure out what does God have against the Buffalo Bills? So does that mean the New York Giants (Superbowl XXV) Washington Redskins (XXVI) and Dallas Cowboys (XXVIII, XXVII) are then blessed and had God’s favor? Maybe the Prayer of Jabez worked for Joe Gibs…I’ll have to try that in my job search.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says

      Don’t give them ideas, Eagle.

      As crazy and dumb as you can get as a joke, there’s going to be some True Believer out there even crazier and dumber and DEAD SERIOUS.

  15. BTW… On the trans-siberian orchestra…I think they beat the Griswalds hands down!!! 🙂

    • Just went to see them this afternoon. Great show. A bit loud though for this old time rock and roll fan.

      But, yes, they do put on an impressive show.

  16. Why build yet another Ark? There’s already a guy working on it in Frostburg, MD.. I think they should just help finance his ark and spend the rest on something actually worthy. You know, spreading the gospel for real or helping the poor, really, anything other than yet another publicity stunt.


    I always figured Hanukkah was celebrated because it’s the right time of year. My serious Jewish friends tend to have an amalgam of Hanukkah and Christmas for the winter season and then focus on the real holidays, the holy days during the rest of the year. Not that that means they don’t have a rockin’ Purim.

    Also, the best Hanukkah song ever is by Tim Lehrer. Hannukah in Santa Monica.

    • I’m just wondering where they’ll get all that gopher wood.

      And if they’ve made up their minds as to what exactly gopher wood is – cypress? cedar? reeds?

    • Oh yeah, for actual holy days nothing beats the Days of Awe there at Yom Kippur, nothing! Hanukkah’s just a lot of fun!

  17. I have mixed feelings about Steve Johnson’s rant. I appreciate his honesty, and I think God can take it. But it seems to be an example of the Mr. Fix-it attitude of Theism which John Shelby Spong rightly criticizes. As strange as it sounds, the more personal we make God – the answer to all the angst associated with self-consciousness – the more impersonal God becomes: an object, a means to an end, an sedative for the anxieties of existence, a scapegoat for all that goes wrong. Perhaps it makes us equally impersonal, causing an an infantile dependence on God which robs us of living, learning, succeeding, and failing. That’s not grace.

    • Excellent point, dumb ox. What a relief that God is not what we make him but what he is. Now the challenge is to get to know him.

  18. Don’t Damaris and Lisa realize that they are as capable with port and cigars as their male counterparts are with dishes?

    • The port I like, but the last time I tried a cigar — in those wild graduate school days — I spent the rest of the evening throwing up. I wouldn’t want to draw any gender-related conclusions, but I know my personal limits. So according to the logical syllogism as you’ve set it up, then my male counterparts must be hopeless with the dishes. Hmm.

      • Ok — perhaps capable is not the right word. How about……. “entitled”. Yeah, that works. But then there’s an association with “entitlement”. So….. how about “welcomed to”.

        Damaris and Lisa are as welcomed to the port and cigars as their male counterparts are to the dishes!