January 16, 2021

Saturday Brunch, December 19, 2020

Well, friends, this is my final post at internet monk. A huge shout out to Chaplain Mike for allowing me to write, and to all of you for your kind comments and contributions over the years.

Shower thoughts of the week:

  • All numbers are closer to 0 then they are to infinity.
  • The truest example of Pavlovian conditioning is that every time you hear ‘Pavlov’ you automatically think of a dog.
  • The Moon is the most amount of land most humans will ever see at once.
  • If the telephone had been invented after email, we would have thought it was a vast improvement in communication.
  • It must be hard for dragons to blow out candles.
  • If life is a game, gravestones are participation trophies
  • UFO’s may actually be tourist carrying cruise ships from future.

You’ve been warned. By the president of Brazil, no less. “In the Pfizer contract it’s very clear: ‘we’re not responsible for any side effects.’ If you turn into a crocodile, it’s your problem,” Jair Bolsonaro said Thursday. “If you become superhuman, if a woman starts to grow a beard or if a man starts to speak with an effeminate voice, they will not have anything to do with it.”

I’m coming after you, Pfizer…

Time flies. Just in case you needed reminding of how old you are getting (yes, you) here are some pop-culture factoids.

Useless-Facts-Making-Feel-OldToy Story came out 25 years agoUseless-Facts-Making-Feel-Old

Bart Simpson is now 41

Useless-Facts-Making-Feel-OldRalph Macchio, the actor who played Daniel LaRusso, is now older than Mr. Miyagi was when Karate Kid came out


Madonna is 62

Time flies...

Eminem is now a Father


On a related note, Keith Richards turned 77, which is like 249 in human years.

The old adage of ‘one person’s trash is another’s treasure’ rang particularly true last week, when authorities recovered a Surrealist painting worth about $340,000 from a recycling bin at Germany’s Düsseldorf Airport. The Yves Tanguy painting found in airport dumpster after it was forgotten by its owner.

A guy on Reddit made an interesting infographic about the prevalence of search terms on google through the years.

Does this merlot taste funny to you? A supervisor was suspended last week after illegal winery found at Alabama wastewater plant.

A committee for the San Francisco Unified School District recommends renaming schools named after Abraham Lincoln (because of his attitude towards Native Americans), George Washington and Thomas Jefferson (because they owned slaves), and Dianne Feinstein (because she hugged Lindsey Graham). This story has been around for some time, but is only now gaining national attention. Back in November, the editorial board of The San Francisco Chronicle opposed the recommendations: “‘Wherever a monument to the Confederacy meets a deserved demise, its defenders can be counted on to warn that this is the top of a slippery slope toward a wholesale cleansing of every trace of our history based on the sensitivities of 21st-century leftists,’ the editorial board wrote. ‘It’s a specious, disingenuous argument, but the San Francisco school board is doing its best to prove it right.’”

Meanwhile, Japan is still trying to figure out Christmas

So…McDonalds is opening a barbershop. In Sweden. No, I don’t know why Sweden gets this treasure. But I do know the barbershop is being used to promote a specific type of haircut that was popular for a thankfully brief time in the 90’s, which McDonalds is now christening the Golden M.

McDonald’s Sweden has opened up the world’s first certified Golden M Barber Shop in Stockholm.

The brand is reclaiming the iconic '90s cut.

Maybe, if we are REAL lucky, these barbershops will come to America. I mean, we have EXQUISITE taste, right? And I want to ask for a McMullet and fries.

Odd. My spell checker did not flag McMullet. Please tell me that’s not already a thing…

I don’t want to terrorize you with more bad news. 2020 has been bad enough. But I think you should know: Tasmanian Devils can glow in the dark. No, I’m not kidding. And they look like this:a close up of a dog in a dark room: Jake Schoen/The Toledo Zoo Tasmanian Devil

This was discovered recently in, of all places, the Toledo zoo. Yeah, Toledo Ohio has a zoo. Who knew? And they are the first ones to report biofluorescence in this species. Which has got to be the most exciting thing to happen in Toledo since….

…thinking of something exciting that has happened in Toledo…

…still thinking…

…checking Wikipedia…

…still nothing…

…oh, wait…John Denver had a song about Toledo. Good note to go out on:


  1. Daniel Jepsen, Luckily for me i became aware that you guys are wrapping up I Monk so I have been checking in more often to catch you, Mike Bell Mike the Geologist and of course Chaplin Mike before the end. . I just want to say , based on the above brunch, you are going out on top. I loved the content of this brunch. Just wanted you and the others to know this site was very helpful to me when I was laid up for a while. I can say that the articles were good and the Saturday Brunch always a treat. In todays world true wit and good humor are becoming hard to find. I wish you all the best and I know you are a person of deep and honest faith. So this is a big thank you and again what a great last post from you. Merry Christmas and God Bless.

    • Pellicano Solitudinis says

      Hello, john barry. I’ve missed you of late.

      • Pellicano Solitudinis, well, thank you. I am fine and have always checked in at random to catch some of the really good articles of Chaplin Mike, Mike Bell, Daniel Jepsen and Mike he G Man. This site helped me get though a year of being somewhat house bound, then we go into the virus thing. Like Daniel J. I think it is time for the site to move on as why not go out on top, like Daniel did. I do not spend a lot of time inter acting on internet as most of it is of little use but I did engage this site as it was a different perspective. So thanks for the mention and hope all commenters are well and fine.

    • Time Flies…

      We have every gadget imaginable, except NULL-ENTROPY BINS.

      • And the Holtzman effect, by which the folds in space itself can be traversed in a twinkling rather than taking the long way round’.

    • Ditto to everything John said, especially that this morning’s Brunch is an exceptional blow-out by Daniel–VERY GREAT JOB Daniel!

      Good to see you John.

    • Daniel Jepsen says

      Thanks for your kind word, John and all. It’s been fun.

      • Daniel Jepsen, I also want you personally to know that your sharing of some personal issues on the site and how you dealt with them encouraged me about faith matters. Your sharing of your life walk experiences added to the fullness of my life, as I could feel the love, sincerity and faith in your writings. I would add you are a better man than me but then again, no big compliment as almost everybody is. So I will say you are a better man than most and like Noah will find Grace in the eyes of the Lord.

  2. Pellicano Solitudinis says

    The zoo in Toledo, Ohio, is mentioned in *Ducks, Newburyport*, a novel which was shortlisted for the Booker Prize last year. Ii recently listened to the audiobook while spring-cleaning my house. I don’t think I’d enjoy reading it in book form, but it was surprising good as an accompaniment to long periods of work that occupy the hands but not the mind.

  3. Dan from Georgia says

    The Winery-at-work news items is kinda cool actually.

    No, wait…..

    Wastewater plant? Alabama?

    • Sweet Merlot ‘labama, where the skies are so blue (and the wastewater’s true)…

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says

      I believe the word is “Bootlegging”.
      On company time & assets, no less.

    • Brianthedad says

      Dry county to boot. Yes, we still have those. And it looks like it was in an electrical room. Climate controlled and usually protected from the smells since the gas causing the smell is corrosive to electrical switchgear and MCCs. Quite obviously they had too much time on their hands. That’s about two hours up the road from me. Do that at home. Alabama’s alcohol laws for DIY is pretty backward, (5 gallons a year and only with fruit you grew). But at work in a taxpayer funded job and facility? Get outta here!

  4. Dan from Georgia says

    The Golden M haircut looks like a foreshadowing, or is it forewarning, of the Karen hairdo?

    Regardless, I find it rather disturbing.

    • I think it’s designed to be an inconspicuous replacement of the Tin Foil Hat, that can be worn anywhere and at all times so that the wearer can constantly receive signals. Of course it’s not actually less conspicuous than the TFH, so that’s a major design problem.

    • David Greene says

      It’s the “Mark of the Beast” 🙂

  5. Pellicano Solitudinis says

    Speaking as an actual Tasmanian, we quite like our devils. Yes, they make truly infernal noises at night. Yes, they will eat you alive and grind your bones to non-existence should you have a solo bushwalking accident that renders you immobile. But our kids sleep with stuffed Tassie devil toys, and there’s a toddler-sized Tassie devil woolly hat displayed on a fence post on my street, waiting for its owner to claim it back.

  6. “Eminem is now a Father.”

    WHAT. A. HOOT. !.

  7. Ok… Toy Story was released 25 years ago. That doesn’t make me feel as less old as I’d like.

  8. McD opening a barbershop in Sweden?

    They’re willing to do that but not bring back the pre-1990 fries recipe??

  9. >On a related note, Keith Richards turned 77, which is like 249 in human years.

    Richards is like an ancient tree. His age can be determined by counting the rings around his eyes.

  10. Madonna…
    icky then, still icky now.

    • You have to admit, she’s given Weird Al a lot of great material over the years… 😉

    • It’s a matter of opinion, gravitation, and staying power.
      I still spin her True Blue album (vinyl) on the turntable.

      • Agreed. I’m not necessarily a fan of Madonna the person, but her music has had some awesome moments. I think “Ray of Light” is absolutely astounding, with “Music” not far behind, and I still have her first two albums in vinyl somewhere…

        • While I’ve never been a fan of Madonna’s work, that comment about her being “icky” – well, it feels pretty icky.

          I do not like and never have liked many aspects of her public persona, but calling her “icky” – as a human being and a woman – seems pretty unkind.

          On another note entirely, Daniel, you definitely wrote a great “brunch” post! I especially love the Godzilla pics. (No, really, i do! 🙂 )

          • From Merriam Webster – Icky adjective.\ ?i-k? \ Definition of icky: offensive to the senses or sensibilities : distasteful

            Seems to work.

            Now on to the definition of overly sensitive.

  11. senecagriggs says

    Speaking of the passing of time, last night I watched a couple episodes of Virgin River. The 72 year old crotchety doctor is played by Tim Matheson, who was the 21 year old Pre-Med student at “Faber College” in Animal House.
    Matheson is now really 72. Time has flown

    • He also played John Hoynes, the machiavellian VP from The West Wing. I always get cognitive dissonance when I see him playing serious/villainous roles.

    • Also speaking of the passage of time, there were two somber 40th anniversaries which passed earlier this month in the music world. I don’t recall either one getting major media coverage unless I missed it.

      On December 4, 1980, the surviving members of Led Zeppelin announced their breakup, just over two months after drummer John Bonham’s alcohol-related death. Four days later, former Beatle John Lennon was murdered.

      John Lennon, by the way, would have turned 80 this year. Next month, former Led Zeppelin guitarist/producer Jimmy Page will turn 77 and bassist/keyboardist John Paul Jones will turn 75. Their lead singer, Robert Plant, is now 72. Sobering, isn’t it?

    • As I told some of my high school classmates recently. I feel old when I notice that everyone in the movie I’m watching from my past, everyone, including the kids, is dead.

  12. senecagriggs says

    Speaking of the passing of time, last night I watched a couple episodes of Virgin River. The 72 year old crotchety doctor is played by Tim Matheson, who was the 21 year old Pre-Med student at “Faber College” in Animal House.
    Matheson is now really 72. Time has flown quickly

  13. Back in 1974, The group King’s X, released Dogman. They being the prophets they are put an iteration of the Tasmanian devil on the cover. The lyrics of one song, Pillow, resonate with many an Imonker…..
    “I walked through the door and took a seat
    Listening to words
    That seemed to bounce right off my chest
    Like I heard it all before
    Teach an old dog the same old trick”.

    • I once went to a King’s X concert. Unfortunately, when my friend arrived for the advertised 10pm show we were told they wouldn’t actually begin playing until midnight. Unfortunately, we both worked the next day and decided to be responsible and skipped the concert.

      One of my regrets in life was not saying, “F*** it. Let’s stay up!”

    • Speaking of King’s X and iMonkers, many iMonkers might also appreciate these King’s X lyrics, from the song “Out of the Silent Planet”…

      “Perfect peace
      Mountains robed in glory
      Coming into view
      Father speaks
      Son becomes the story
      Essence of all truth”

      Or the lyrics of “Alone”…

      “No one should be made to feel rejected
      And to feel the pain
      No one should be made to feel unwanted
      And to feel the hate

      Sticks and stones, breaking bones
      Names and words, they hurt you
      Effecting everything
      No one should be made to feel alone

      No one should be made to feel their heart break
      And to feel unloved
      No one should be made to feel they’re ugly
      And to feel ashamed

      Sticks and stones, breaking bones
      Names and words, they hurt you
      Effecting everything
      No one should be made to feel alone
      No one”

      • Burro (Mule) says

        Missed Kings X first time out

        but not Alpha Band.

        T-Bone’s still around, doing the too-cool alt country thing Steve Soles is probably the only CCM to have kissed Alan Ginsburg on the lips.

        Oh you rich men weep and wail

  14. Don’t knock Toledo. It had the last two black major leaguers before Jackie Robinson. Yes, this makes 1884 the civic highpoint, but still, it’s something.

  15. Toledo’s most famous son – Max Klinger of MASH fame.

  16. Thanks for all the joy you have given me on Saturday Brunches Daniel, God’s blessings to you!

  17. Klasie Kraalogies says

    Ah, the joy of sitting down with my coffee on a Saturday morning and IMonk’s Brunch. We’ve had some good times!

  18. Thank you, Daniel, for your contributions at IM over the years. I appreciate your sense of humor and still chuckle when I think about the meme you once posted showing a picture of a wagon train, with the caption describing it as the Chicago Cubs’ last known World Series parade. (Pre-2016, obviously.) May God’s blessings be on you and your family.

  19. Thank you so much Daniel for making Saturday fun. It’s been like Saturday morning cartoons!
    Ya know the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.
    God bless your continued journey.

  20. Daniel your contributions to this here site will be sorely missed.

  21. The Ralph Macchio mention leads me to ask…

    How many Cobra Kai fans are there among iMonkers? I found the show absolutely riveting, with great scriptwriting and outstanding casting of the leads and the peripheral characters. Can’t wait for season 3!!!!

  22. Regarding the McDonalds/barbershop combo…

    Isn’t ANY pairing of eatery and hair-cutting a BAD idea???

    “Um, excuse me, but there’s hair in my chalupa.”

  23. Bravo to you for your swan song brunch, Daniel. They’ve all been enjoyed!

  24. Alert, alert… I have a comment in mod. Alert, alert…

  25. Thank you, Daniel. You are a mensch. May the Lord bless you and yours.


  26. Thank you for everything, Daniel!

  27. senecagriggs says

    Jepsen if you’re every in my neck of Florida; let me know. I’ll treat you to a Chic Filet A meal, your spouse too.

Speak Your Mind