December 1, 2020

Just because it’s in the Bible . . .

. . . doesn’t mean you should put it on your church sign.

Welcome, neighbor!


  1. Other passages not to put on your sign include anything to do with fungus cleansing or verses containing the word “begat.”

    Is it bad that at first glance I thought that this said “Baggersville”?

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says

      If it was Biglerville in Pennsylvania, that’d make a little more sense. They get pretty strange out there; my writing partner (in Gettysburg, the next town over) has told me about a New Age Cult that started up there years ago about turning yourself into a horse (yes, a horse) through meditation. He still refers to Biglerville as “Home of The Biglerville Werehorse Cult.”.

  2. Maybe it is for their landscaping service project :^)

    • That looks like a rose covering over the worship times. That wouldn’t be pleasant for whoever changes the sign. Perhaps a bit of frustration at the thorny flora?

  3. I was going to thank you, Chaplain Mike, for a “lighter” subject than the one that ended up being discussed yesterday…


    Not good.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says

      I think there are entire photoblog websites dedicated to Clueless Church Signs.

      After years of having to come up with New Clever Church Sign after New Clever Church Sign, you just kind of burn out and lose it…

  4. Still waiting to see Ezekiel 23 : 20 on a coffee cup.

  5. I think this photo was taken the same week as when pastors were supposed to defy the IRS and preach politics on Sunday morning. This pastor is telling everyone to protest big-government EPA-imposed burning restrictions. I remember when people in town would rake leaves in piles along the curb and burn them. It was one of those scents of autumn. Curse you, EPA, for ruining a childhood memory! 😉

  6. I guess there’s no possibility they were just taking the autumnal occasion to quote scripture.

  7. Maybe it’s a rastafarian congregation, burning the weed, mahn!

    • Not in Bargersville, Indiana, I suspect. However, if it was Garberville, California (in the heart of the infamous “Emeraald Triangle”) …

      • Headless Unicorn Guy says

        “The Emerald Triangle”: Shasta, Trinity, Humboldt, and Mendocino Counties, California. Rugged mountains and redwood forests. AKA…

        THE big pot-growing region of Northern California, where California’s biggest cash crop grows merrily away in boobytrapped backwoods plantations, with raids by both DEA and “Pot-Mercs” around harvest time. If they ever had a major blaze up there, everybody for 100 miles downwind would be both-feet-over-the-rafters stoned for the entire next week.

  8. I agree. Just because it is in the Bible doesn’t necessarily mean it is a good idea to just post it on the church sign.

    Having said that, I would rather attend a church that has the sign pictured above rather than a church that has the sign that reads “God saves homosexuals even if they continue in their homosexual lifestyle” or “Buddhists are also on the same path to the same goal as Christians.”

    Of course, I don’t know why Chaplain Mike doesn’t seek out pictures of churches that have those signs and let us have a free-for-all discussions on those.

  9. A few of my favorites that should never appear on the sign:

    “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”


    “Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!”

    • I was working at a Christian radio station when Operation Desert Storm began, and a DJ about to go on the air asked me if I knew chapter and verse location for the first one you mentioned, as he wanted to use it on the air …

      … but after he saw the look I was giving him, he dropped the subject.

  10. “Stand by thyself, come not near to me; for I am holier than thou” (Isaiah 65:5 KJV).

  11. Hyper- Calvinists are keen on this silly stuff…. errrk

  12. Hey, God gives gardening advice! Why are we all complaining about this?

  13. I like how they put “2” instead of “to”. You know, to attract the texting crowd.