December 4, 2020

Final Pre-Black Friday Specials! Hurry! Act Now! Operators Standing By!

Wow. I haven’t heard that much hype since the last Dallas Cowboys promo I watched—which was about fifteen minutes ago.

Here we are in the home stretch of iMonk’s Black Friday specials, hoping to keep you home from the madness that begins in just a few hours. (By the way, yes, I will be a part of the madness starting at midnight at my Target. If you come to see me, stay in line. Don’t make my use my cattle prod … )

I thought we would conclude with some items you really ought to give strong consideration to buying for you or someone you want to give a nice, well-thought-out, meaningful gift to. (And if you need my address, just let me know! By the way, when shopping for clothes for me, I wear size mammoth-petite.)

Let’s start with …

The Kindle Fire. If you don’t already have a Kindle and you want to primarily read books, get the new $79 Kindle. It’s all you need in the most ergonomic package yet for an e-reader. But if you want to also use your device to watch movies and TV shows, read magazines (in full color), play games and surf the web, then you want the Fire. I’ve been playing with one at work for two weeks now and it is all it promises to be. Smaller, lighter and much less expensive than the iPad. Hours of fun for the whole family! Watch stains fade before your eyes! (Sorry. Got carried away again …)

Victorinox Swiss Army SwissChamp XAVT. I guess those who serve in the Swiss Army have much bigger pockets than other armies. This bad boy has 80 tools available for those strong enough to carry it. Hopefully one is needle and thread to resew your pocket seams. Oh, but I would love one of these. Why? Why not?

Hawaii Five-O – The Complete First Season. Does it get any better than this? Hawaiian setting. Bad guys always losing. Trying to not stereotype native Hawaiians but not quite doing so. Jack Lord’s hair never moving no matter how many bullets fly or how strong the wind blows. Gotta love this. Book ’em, Danno …

MLB Cincinnati Reds Heritage Banner.  What better way to show off your devotion to the official baseball team of the InternetMonk than this banner to hang in your entryway? Unless it is with the MLB Cincinnati Reds Protoast. Seriously, I cannot make this stuff up. (And yes, I would use this every single day of my life if I had one.)

Ok. I hope our tips have been helpful for you. Let the massive buying begin. Be careful if you venture out at midnight (especially in my store!). Don’t break anything, iMonks.


  1. Jeff- I feel your pain- I too am working the opening shift (at midnight) at our Target here in Kentucky. It’s been 15 years since I worked retail on Black Friday, and it was a much more sane starting time of around 7-8 a.m. back then. Hope your night goes by quickly and as stress-free as possible for Black Friday!

    • Jeff how do we know which Target to hit up? 😉 I’d love to help you and Chris out. On Wednesday night I was at JC Penny in Fairfax, VA and I asked the clerk, “What time do you open at Friday?… Not that I’m going to participate in sucide by trampling…” She told me that the JC Penny opens at 4:00 AM 😯

      I remember working for a Department Store in Caliofrnia. The day after Thanksgiving we had ot be there at 4:00, and I was on the third floor working houseares. I remember when the doors opened at 5:00 a riot commenced and I saw 70 year old women, and old men, amd soccor Mom’s rushing up the elevator and running to get a coffee pot that was on sale. My God….if we could only let those corwds loose in Pakistan we might have found Osama Bin Ladin years ago!!

      • Jeff, I saw this story and I have to ask: did you come out unscathed from your job?

        Pepper spray. What’s for next year, small arms fire? O-O

      • Headless Unicorn Guy says

        JC Penney’s is waiting until 4 Ayem?

        There’s stores around here advertising they will open at Midnight!

  2. Richard Hershberger says

    Now you’ve done it. You have encroached on my serious nerd interest: early baseball history. That Cincinnati Reds “Heritage Banner” is a complete crock. It implies, as the Reds are fond of doing, that the modern Cincinnati Reds have a direct connection with the Red Stockings of 1869, which are widely, if incorrectly, identified as the first professional baseball team. I would call this an outright premeditated lie if I had any confidence that the Reds marketing department knew or cared the first thing about baseball history. The modern Reds were founded in 1882, playing initially in the American Association (a major league not to be confused with later minor leagues of the same name) before jumping to the National League. The only connection they have with the Red Stockings of 1869 is playing in the same city and recycling a traditional nickname. This is not in the least controversial among historians of early baseball, and as a baseball historian myself I am offended by the Reds bogus marketing claims. Feh.

    • Tell us how you really feel, Richard!

      • Richard Hershberger says

        That was nothing. If you really want to get me going, claim that the 1962 Mets were the worst team in baseball history.

    • Richard, alas, is right — but that still makes the Reds the majors’ third-oldest franchise, behind only the Cubs and Braves. (Well, tied for third — two of the other teams in that first year of the American Association would become the Pirates and Cardinals.) The Reds franchise has so much rich tradition, historical impact and colorful characters packed into its 130 years in the big leagues that they don’t need to tack the previous Red Stockings team (which, incidentally, went out of business in less than two years) onto its annals.

      • Richard Hershberger says

        We could add, for those into the seriously obscure, that the Phillies were also founded in 1882, but not as a major league club. They joined the National League the following year. This ancestry has escaped notice of all but the most pedantic specialists of the period.

    • As much as I love baseball (Mainly the Milwaukee Brewers or Washington Nationals…I hope that won’t get me banned) what really floats my boat is model railroading and railroad history. Now if it has the Milwaukee Road logo slappe don the side, or the Northern Pacific, or the Santa Fe, THEN I am good 😀

  3. Sorry you have to work that crazy shift.

    I worked today (Thanksgiving). I never thought I’d be doing this at this stage of the game. You’re probably thinking the same thing, Jeff.

    Hang in there!

  4. Having worked in retail all through my (many) years of schooling, I feel your pain.

    At least the days go fast when you are ringing up items as fast as you can, and apologizing for the wait times…

    My husband worked at Best Buy for 4 years and often had to work the 4 am Black Friday rush. I hope you have dodged that particular fate.

    • I remember those days well when I worked retail. People can be really fickle. I think of some of the things that also had to be dealt with. People who tried to shoplift, those who tried to change the prices. I remember walking down the main aisle one day and walking past someone who was either intoxicated or high on drugs who was peeing on the floor. GOOD GRIEF!! I do not miss retail at all…. My heart breaks fo rmany people here….

  5. Not everyone shares your enthusiasm for the Kindle Fire…

    I don’t have one, nor any plans to buy a tablet of any kind. Although I do use a Nook… 😀