October 27, 2020

The Saturday Monks Brunch: March 3, 2018


Sometimes, ya just gotta be silly. And so, we devote today’s brunch to the gracious, liberating practice of silliness.

And where else to begin, but with one of the greatest silly sketches of all time?

And, in the same vein, Silly Olympics. My favorite event  is the one involving chickens.


Folks are dealing with “Storm Emma” as best they can.



Hundreds of faithful at a Pennsylvania church on Wednesday carried AR-15-style rifles in adherence to their belief that a “rod of iron” mentioned in the Bible refers to the type of weapon that was used in last month’s mass shooting in Parkland, Fla.

The armed ceremony at World Peace and Unification Sanctuary in Newfoundland, about 20 miles southeast of Scranton, featured gun-toting worshippers, some wearing crowns of bullets as they participated in communion and wedding ceremonies.

Attendants carefully placed a zip tie into the receiver magazine well of each weapon to assure that a clip could not be loaded.

Concern over Wednesday’s gathering prompted a nearby elementary school to cancel classes for the day. It also sparked a small demonstration outside the church, with one protester telling The Associated Press that “it’s scaring people in the community.”

According to The Philadelphia Inquirer, “The ceremony’s official name was the Cosmic True Parents of Heaven, Earth and Humanity Cheon Il Guk Book of Life Registration Blessing. It was part of the church’s weeklong ‘Festival of Grace,’ which included a ‘President Trump Thank You Dinner’ on Saturday.”

The Rev. Hyung Jin “Sean” Moon prayed for “a kingdom of peace police and peace militia where the citizens, through the right given to them by almighty God to keep and bear arms, will be able to protect one another and protect human flourishing.”

“We pray they would stand as kings and queens with their crown and rod of iron,” he said.

Moon is the youngest son of the late Rev. Sun Myung Moon — the self-proclaimed messiah who founded the Unification Church in South Korea in 1954 and eventually spawned a worldwide movement regarded by detractors as a cult. The church is perhaps best known for its mass wedding ceremonies.

As the AP notes, “The younger Moon’s congregation is a breakaway faction of the Unification Church, which had distanced itself from Wednesday’s event.”

…As the Inquirer notes, the Rev. Sean Moon’s brother, Moon Kook-jin, also known as Justin Moon, is the founder and CEO of Kahr Arms, a firearms manufacturer headquartered in nearby Greeley.


No tribute to silliness on a post-evangelical site would be complete without a look back at the pinnacle of silly entertainment for evangelicals and their kids…


I lost my job at the bank on my very first day.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know Y.

Q. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

Q. Why can’t you run through a campground?
A. You can only ran, because you have to go past tents.



I can still see the tears rolling down from my Grandpa’s eyes as he laughed to Abbott and Costello’s timeless baseball routine. Here’s an abbreviated version…


And, by the way, the Bible begins with a pretty exciting baseball game. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, and then Cain struck out Abel. But alas, then the Giants and the Angels were rained out.


FROM THE BABYLON BEE—Responding to his owner Matt affectionately calling him a “good boy” for fetching a stick, local Calvinist canine Rupert reportedly reminded him that “according to the Scriptures, nobody is a good boy.”

“We’ve been over this, Matt. We’re all corrupted—every one of us,” Rupert reportedly said to his owner after stopping mid-stride to address the glaring theological error. “How can you call me a good boy when we have all been marred by the effects of sin?”

According to witnesses, the dog went on to lecture his owner for several minutes, stressing how easy it is to forget who we really are in light of God’s blinding holiness and our desperately fallen nature.

“Do not call me a good boy—I am a depraved wretch,” he added before picking up his stick and continuing to play.



“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.”

• Shel Silverstein, A Light in the Attic


Today’s post is devoted to a man I know who has had more fun and taught more people to have fun than anyone I know. His name is Bernie De Koven, and I encourage you to check out his website Deep Fun, where you can find silly games and fun of all kinds for you, your family, your friends, or any group of which you are a part. You can also read articles, watch videos, and check out his book, A Playful Path, which explains Bernie’s theories about the essential value of play and silliness in our lives.

L’Chaim, Bernie!


  1. Classically silly: The Goon Show (John Cleese openly acknowledges Monty Python’s debt to Spike Milligan).

    http://www.hexmaster.com/goonscripts/what_time_is_it.html has the script of probably the most famous piece of Goon Show, but you probably need to hear the voices of Eccles and Bluebottle for the full effect:


  2. The Bible baseball story reminded me of that eternal question: what car does Jesus drive? Just throwing this out here to add to the fun: https://www.thrillist.com/cars/what-would-jesus-drive-all-the-cars-in-the-bible-from-the-old-to-the-new-testament

    • Robert F says

      Jesus lives in a city: the New Jerusalem. He doesn’t own a car, but uses the wonderful mass transit available. He occasionally calls for a driverless car.

    • That’s easy and an old one. Jesus drove a ford, that’s why he walked everywhere.

    • That Other Jean says

      I don’t know about Jesus when he was all by himself, but he and the disciples drove around in a Honda. :

      Acts 2:1: For when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.

  3. john barry says

    I feel somewhat qualified to address the article about the Rev. Sun M. Moon as I have been both mooned and a mooner at some point in my life. I must confess this as well as the fact my Uncle Ned could make the moon shine according to family history but his main talent was chemistry.

    The Moons naming their son Sun was very clever only if they named their daughter Star as it seems they promised the world the Sun, Moon and Stars. However I do love his pies especially with an RC.

    However I must get to my bullet points about the gun ceremony. I have been sweating bullets trying not to jump the gun but try to target my thoughts and hit the bulls eye with my keen observation. I am not gun shy but I must bite the bullet and reveal I have been called a crazy son of a gun at times. I used to go ballistic but I considered the caliber of the people calling me that and kept my powder dry. It is getting late and I am shooting to have this done soon but I am wandering aimless and now shooting from the hip. I am sure that Rev. Sun Moon is use to riding shotgun as he travels to Alabama to keep the tide rolling. Rev. Moon sounds like a real pistol and I am not going to take potshots at him. I think the celebration after the ceremony was indeed a Minnie Ball.

    I applaud Rev. Sun Moon (how confusing), and knew when he was 38 he would be special. There was a period when he did not meet his potential and was really just a half Moon but how it seems he is full. Nothing is sadder than a blue moon or a day without sun. Rev. Sun Moon always had a special glow about him but I may be moonstruck. I have shot my wad and out of ammo.

    • A bit long for a busy afternoon, but I’ll make sure to rifle through it later on.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says

      And through the Eighties and Nineties, “Reverend Sun” and his “Sunnies” was a common name for a fictional Asian cult leader, from the TV show Soap to the FRP game Stalking the Night Fantastic (AKA Bureau 13).

      I remember my DM telling me once Moon was one of the more dangerous cult leaders: “Most cults are started so the cult leader can get rich, laid, or both. But Moon’s different — he’s been after political power since Day One.”

  4. Rick Ro. says

    Love the silliness of this Saturday’s brunch. Lots of classic stuff here.

  5. Robert F says

    A young monk brought two plotted plants into the garden’s monastery while the Zen master looked on. “Drop it,” instructed the master. The young monk gently let down one pot. “Drop it,” again ordered the master. The monk let go the second pot. “DROP IT!” roared the master. The young monk stammered, “But….I have nothing more to drop.” “Then take it away,” said the old master, smiling.

  6. Dan from Georgia says

    Great post today! Love the Babylon Bee shout-out!

    • john barry says

      Dan from Georgia, Did you see the silly path Snopes and Facebook is going down. I seriously think the managing of news and information by the internet gatekeepers is going to lead to serious problems for the general well being and public discourse. I am referring to the CNN washing machine spin cycle story in the Bee.
      I try to warn people about Babylon, that were they hang gardens someday they will hang people . But mostly I have Georgia on my Mind and water on my brain.

      • Robert F says

        What you call “managing of news and information” used to be called editing. Without responsible editing, no one can tell the difference between facts and fake factoids. Readers are not in a position to vet the facts and distinguish them from factoids the way editors are. God bless the responsible editors.

        • john barry says

          Robert F. Really? What if the Bee was a smaller site and no publicity, it is censorship not editing. Just on this site today, does Snopes have to confirm cars were not available for Jesus, that dogs cannot follow Calvin,, Who was not on first. This is just the beginning. The internet powers and search engines have caved in to Communist China where they could “speak truth to power” but chose to use their power correcting the Bee. It takes courage to stand up to Trump but real courage to go along with the Communist Chinese because it is their way.
          Snopes breaking news, Man was not hungry enough to eat horse, Trump is not crazy like a fox and the cow did not jump over moon or the sun or Rev Sun Moon.
          I guess Pravda was just editing the news during the first cold war before the reset.

          • Robert F says

            I don’t read the Bee, and don’t really know what they’re doing, or even what you’re talking about. But if you regularly disseminate the news, as Facebook does, and people are regularly consuming news from you, then you have a responsibility to edit it. If you don’t do internal editing, and thereby allow the newscape to become dangerously littered with false stories from your feed, then you are just begging for the government to treat the internet as a public utility requiring close monitoring. That’s far too close to censorship for my liking, but that’s where we’ll end up because of your irresponsibility.

            The examples you give are the result of applying what I said in my comment in a patently absurd way.

            • john barry says

              I applied for a patent but it was denied as they claim I did not invent absurdity but I did.

              Unfortunately the trend is for the majority of people to get their news and hence opinions from the internet. If the editing is done by Facebook, twitter and goggle and access to certain ideas limited by ? then it is not good.
              The gatekeeper is important. . Who decides what content is “allowed ” on the internet? At least in the old days we knew what books where banned in Boston but if you never know , you never know.

              • Robert F says

                If they can’t handle editing, they should not disseminate news. And there is a big difference between being a search engine that provides access to the internet, and being social media: an organization can be one without being the other. I use Google searches to access sources that I trust, but I read diverse sources, and don’t simply trust what is being fed into a personal account (actually, I don’t have a Google account).

                • john barry says

                  Robert F. Google what happened with the Bee story concerning facebook. . What if the “search” engine is controlled so if you researched WW 2 there was no mention of Pearl Harbor and America declared war on Germany . The rulers of Google, Facebook, Amazon and Twitter have tremendous social , cultural and economic power monopoly that the old traditional information sources did not have.
                  What if Chaplin Mike as the mediator refused to allow any of my brilliant, politically correct, riveting, compelling comments because he was in awe of my intellect I would not exist. I am glad CM is not in awe of my intellect as I put my pants on one leg at a time but forget to zip up but that is another story. I would be like the tree in the forest, no one would know if I made a sound. What if CM only put comments on the site he agreed with? Would that be good for anyone but CM. Yes I am accusing CM of being fair and balance which now have a “bad” contention because ? Accuse CNN of spinning the news, even in silly satire, no Facebook for you, it is the Soup Nazi on steroids.
                  By curtailing frivolous and “fighting” words, the Party seeks to narrow the range of thought altogether. If you control the microphone , you control the message, not that anything is wrong with that. I am quoting George somebody , either Costanza or Orwell .

                  • Robert F says

                    Except that Google, Facebook, Amazon, Twitter, et al. are not “the Party”; they are privately owned businesses. They cannot prohibit free speech, only make managerial decisions about what they will publish on their privately owned platforms. Do you have something against capitalism and private ownership? What do you propose they do? Perhaps you should buy some of their stock so that you can have a say in how they operate the business? Or would you like the internet to be owned by the public, instead of private interests? Should they be nationalized? Are you a socialist?

                  • CNN, Google, Facebook, et al. are not “the Party”. They are businesses that own their microphones; either get your own microphone, or agree to their rules when you use their microphone. Private property.

                    • john barry says

                      Robert F. They are a monopoly of epic proportion , they are the controllers of media to the growing majority of people who rely on google searches, Facebook interchanges , twitter links and internet “news” sites to give them information. They have in essence buckled under to the Communist rulers to aid them in limiting and controlling the information their citizens can get and send. They want the billion people market.
                      This is a whole new world that needs to be discussed and brought to the fore front. CNN is not a major player , that you are correct but google, facebook and twitter can control the information and thus the opinion of an ever increasing majority. They are no better than the robber barons of the early 20th century and will sell out to Communist China and others to increase their profit and power.
                      The Snopes stupid rebuttal or fact check of a ridiculous piece of satire from a identified satire site was “reported” by concerned people who prompted Facebook into action. It was a set up like giving a piece of known fiction to a site like Buzzfeed as they will carry it and then the “legitimate” press can report on the fact that Buzzfeed published unverified fiction but they could not but here is what Buzzfeed reported on but we would not report on . What harm can that do?

                    • Robert F says

                      I understand your point. And I’m not against government regulations to break up and prevent monopolies. But I get edgy when people invoke the bugaboo of Communism to justify the extraordinary step of nationalizing a business or industry; that happened in Europe in the middle of the twentieth century, with not such good results. In that case, Communism and Jewishness were thought to be of the same “Party”, and to justify any and all countermeasures. Let’s not go down that road.

          • Robert F says

            Okay. After going back to find and apprise myself of the story, Facebook definitely shouldn’t rely on snopes to vet stories for it. That gives snopes too much power. But internal editing is absolutely necessary for a platform that does what Facebook does, and they should do what’s necessary to become proficient at it. But none of this so far involves actual censorship.

      • Dan from Georgia says

        I’m kinda at a crossroads right now with the Babylon Bee. Some days they hit it on the mark…but seems lately they play it safe with many of their pieces by only, and their “CNN Spin Cycle” article may have tipped me over the edge. I was mainly entertained by their “Calvinist/Good boy” piece. I am not on Facebook, nor do I peruse Snopes much, but I understand where you are coming from.

        It’s getting worse and worse each election cycle and the in-between days. People flock to their echo-chamber news source(s) to get the latest “facts” so they can have their biases reinforced and believe the best about their guy and the worst about the other guy.

        Twitter is HORRIBLE with this. How can someone have a nuanced, decent discussion with another person in 120 or 240 characters, especially when, right off the bat, someone’s tweet says “so-and-so is a horrible person because ______” and fill in the blank with some not-yet-vetted rumor/news item. A certain well-known progressive Christian has repeatedly been taken to task for parroting false information on their twitter feed and I rarely if ever see them own up to it.

        You would think that in today’s age and technology, we could determine what’s real and fake easily, but there are too many sources out there who want to twisting the truth or out-right lie so that they can control the narrative.

        • I’ve never been limited by the 240 character limit. I just keep writing (or quoting) until the point is clear and then take a screenshot and post it as an image. I know that’s tangential to your main point, but just sayin’.

          As to your primary point, the spiritual gift one needs most in the internet age is discernment. To know truth from satire. Truth from spin. Truth from error.

          • Paul, there is no spiritual gift of discernment, especially regarding truth vs. satire, truth vs.spin, or truth vs. error. The damsel in Acts 16 who said, “These men are servants of the Most High God who show us the way of salvation” spoke truth. The problem was that she had a spirit of divination. The biblical gift exercised by Paul is discerning of spirits, not discernment between truth and error.

  7. Robert F says

    Most adherents of religion are like diners at a restaurant who would rather eat the menu than order the food.

  8. I call sexual discrimination! Why no article about Rupert’s sister, Tulip?

  9. Are you sure that the gun church article is from NPR and not the Onion?

  10. Robert F says

    The AR-15 as sacramental. Can’t get much more American than that.

    • Headless Unicorn Guy says

      (“The Gun is Good…”)

    • From the Republican Party platform in 2016:

      “We oppose ill-conceived laws that would restrict magazine capacity or ban the sale of the most popular and common modern rifle.”

      According to the NRA, the most popular rifle in this country is the AR-15.

      Republicans need to understand this.

  11. Why did the ant climb onto the chicken?

    To cross the road.

    • Rick Ro. says

      Not bad, but i think “To get to the other side” would work better as an answer.

  12. Professor John Thibold, the world’s foremost expert in lore surrounding the Abominable Snowman, was recently asked if there is now conclusive evidence for the creature’s existence. He replied, “Not Yeti.”

  13. What do you call a fish that lost it sorry? A fsh.
    Funnier spoken than read.

  14. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

    He was up all night wondering if there’s a dog.

  15. john barry says

    Three blind men walk into a bar

    Ouch, ouch, ouch

    • Rick Ro. says

      My dad and I recently came up with this…


      Is the bartender here? (works)
      Is the bartender in? (does not work) (my mom once told the joke this way, and couldn’t understand why it didn’t work)
      Where’s the bartender? (yes)
      Is the bartender nearby? (yes)
      Is the bartender available? (no)
      Is Herb, the bartender, here? (no)
      Herb, is the bartender here? (yes)
      Is the bartender over there? (yes)
      Is the bartender in back? (yes)
      Is the bartender back? (no)
      When is the bartender back? (no)
      When is Herb, the bartender, back? (no)
      Ask Herb if the bar is tender here. (no)

  16. Iain Lovejoy says

    What kind of cheese can you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.

  17. Dan from Georgia says

    A duck walks into a bar.

    The bartender says “what is this, some kind of joke?”


  18. john barry says

    My sister works in a mental hospital>
    What does she do?

    Serves soup to nuts

  19. Rick Ro. says

    An existentialist walked into a bar, or did he/she?